i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
