well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
