everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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