I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize