This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I just found a bag of teeth...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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