you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize