i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
