loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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