I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
