That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
