So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
