my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
