you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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