stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
