just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
