Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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