Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
