Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
