I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
