Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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