GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Randomize
