Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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