I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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