I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
