im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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