i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
