life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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