I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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