no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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