His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize