If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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