super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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