can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
