Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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