Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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