I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Farmville is her only friend.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
