I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
