so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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