If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
