Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
