So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
