I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
