If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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