she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
