I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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