i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize