Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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