Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
