i think my mom watched the whole time
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
