how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
