Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
