Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
