im drinking this country out of the recession.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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