you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
