Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
