We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just invented taco cereal.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
