I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
