am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize