I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
