those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
