hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
